Have ever been in a situation where you saw a woman, wanted to talk to her, but couldn’t find the courage to over and actually say ‘Hi’ to her? Instead, you felt yourself tensing up, feeling uneasy and self-conscious?
You desperately searched your mind for something to say… but ‘drew a blank’? Your mind was EMPTY.
Why couldn’t you just open your mouth, say hi, ask her a witty question, start a great conversation, get her phone number, walk away and continue what you were doing before you saw her; AS IF THERE WAS NOTHING TO IT.
Let’s speak truth now; it rarely goes like that, IF EVER. And that’s probably why you’re here now. You’re tired of it RARELY happening for you.
What is it that prevents us from acting? Why can’t we walk up to her and talk to her with the same ease of feeling we get when talking to our best friend? Why is it such a BIG deal?
Is there another way? Can we stop acting like a little frightened boy and become the confident man who ACTS and takes charge of the situation without hesitating?
The average guy will have to talk to a girl many times, trying to carefully ‘feel’ his way into a friendship, and, only once he feels it’s SAFE to do so, will he RISK asking for her number, and if they DO get the number, they’ll think, ‘I got LUCKY’..
If only it were LUCK. Being lucky has little to do with how well your interaction with a woman goes.
The cold truth is that most of us let our emotional state and our NEGATIVE thinking process get in the way of taking immediate action.
So what’s going on when you meet a great looking woman and would like to talk to her but you end up walking away or taking so long trying to find the courage that she walks before you get the chance?
You know how it goes; we see this woman, you are immediately struck by her beauty, become nervous, and our mind goes completely blank, not knowing what to say or worse, we talk ourselves into not saying anything because IT’S NOT WORTH EVEN TRYING, and so we give up and walk away without saying ONE WORD.
But think about this for a moment. Is this logical behavior?
Let’s face the facts, there’s no way of you knowing what’s going on in a woman’s mind. But you’re afraid she’s gonna reject you. Right?
I hear your objection… ‘But, I can’t control what my mind is thinking?’
Well here’s where you’re screwed; when you make these NEGATIVE ASSUMPTIONS, you start unconsciously acting out your IMAGINED story.
Finally, you get the balls to approach her, but guess what? Your whole body language is screaming ‘I’m feeling really awkward and nervous, I don’t deserve to talk to you and you wouldn’t be interested in me anyway’
And of course she’s gonna instantly feel attracted to that, right?… NO WAY, NEVER!
What if you could drop that ‘shaky confidence’ act as though NOTHING bad is going to happen, and just walk up and talk to that beautiful woman with a different behavior.
First of all you need to break the habit of making yourself feel NEGATIVE or AFRAID, and learn the new habit of feeling good and POSITIVE.
Easier said than done, I know; you’ve probably been acting this way since forever, ever since you discovered that unspoken social idea that talking to a female that you like has to be a BIG DEAL.
This behavior is now programmed and you probably do it instantly, the moment you see women, almost like you have no control over it; it will take time to break this habit, but you can start RIGHT NOW!
Here are 3 things that will help you get started in building confidence.
What’s the worst that could happen? (be realistic).
Sounds unrealistic huh? Well most of us are already doing it; we’re already thinking the worst when we want to talk to the woman, but I want you to try something a little different. YES, think of the worst things that could happen, then Imagine how you’re going to act if they DO happen.
Imagine it, picture it in your mind; she turns her back and ignores you, her response is cold or angry, her boyfriend returns; think about how you will act.
Don’t wait for this to actually happen when you’re in front of a woman, go through this scenario at home, or somewhere else where you can do it calmly, not under pressure, go right into it and think about it and how you would act. Then if the inevitable does happen, you’ll be ready for it.
But chances are it WON’T HAPPEN ANYWAY.
The best outcome.
Now after you have looked at the worst-case scenario do this; Imagine the BEST outcome that you could have from approaching and talking to a woman, don’t be shy, don’t limit yourself, be honest in your imagination. Now try this for several days.
Try it everywhere, in your day-to-day dealings with women, if you are out shopping, buying a ticket, getting a coffee; There are always situations where you HAVE TO talk to women, so talk to them in this positive unapologetic way.
You’ll very quickly see the BIG difference this makes. Even the women you already know will be surprised and will ENJOY this new you.
When you’re ready to talk to a woman when you’re feeling this way, you’re not awkward, you’re prepared, POSITIVE, OPTIMISTIC… There is no room for that negative thinking WUSS!
Break the HABIT
Reflect on this: every time you see a great looking woman, want to talk to her, but hesitate, starting to think of all the possible reasons why you SHOULDN’T, and why she’ll reject you, you’re continuing a DEEP SELF-PROGRAMMING, and turning an ingrained habit into an uncontrollable reflex.
It will control you for the rest of your life; that’s a dangerous place to be in. many men end up settling, because we were too afraid to meet potentially great women.
At worst, this can end in pain when one of you walk away because you’re obviously not that into her. At best, well there is no best, unless you define best as staying in a relationship because you’re afraid to get out.
Do yourself a favor and START TAKING ACTION NOW!